he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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