we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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