I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Please don't give away my fajitas
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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