That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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