Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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