I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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