yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
