I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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