We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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