discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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