me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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