Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I skipped work to stalk him.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
