ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
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Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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