she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
