Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Randomize
