Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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