ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
