hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
