I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
