Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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