Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
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im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
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IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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