New low: just hacked my moms facebook
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
