i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
