he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
