So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
