Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
