Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
kristin has been a bad kristin
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
