thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Randomize
