Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better

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(313): View more from Michigan

awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport

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(208): View more from Idaho

Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.

(208): View more from Idaho

ha well at least you have goals.

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(509): View more from Washington

the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating

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(409): View more from Texas

He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

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(402): View more from Nebraska

let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.

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(254): View more from Texas

Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm gonna fight the coyote

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.

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