wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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