I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
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