Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?