Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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