would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
