i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian