Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU