After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
