I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.