it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
