Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize