So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
