chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
