Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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