There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
