You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
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you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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