i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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