i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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