You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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