I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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