dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
