i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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