dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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