I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
