i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize