This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
