i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
