sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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