problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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