If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We don't watch enough power rangers
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
