Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
