its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
